Why you gotta hang tough. And how to hang tough.
ARE YOU A DIVORCED PARENT?
If so, click here for some special tips.
If you decide to confront this danger squarely and responsibly, you MUST deal with a lot of hassles from your teenager who is beginning to drive. "None of the other parents do this!" "You're making such a big deal about this!" Etc. etc. I'm sure you can imagine. This is rhetoric on the part of the teenager. It's perfectly forgivable. But DON'T FALL FOR IT.
Many years ago, I thought of this parent-teen contract in terms of a parent's right to assert authority over a teenager to keep them safe and "in line." To tell truth, I don't really think of it that way anymore. I think of it more in terms of the value of contracts in human relationships. It's not really about whether I, as a parent, am willing to "let my child drive." It's more about this: Parents have a duty to try to help a young person find a balance between being relatively safe and relatively free to get experience and live their lives. In addition, though, this is about letting another human being (my child) drive a car that I own, that has my name on the title. If I owned a trucking company, I'd want to have a very clear and WRITTEN, CONTRACTUAL understanding with my drivers, to limit my own liability. Why should that be any different with teenagers' driving? I don't think an attitude of "These teenagers are crazy risk-takers who'll do anything if they can get away with it" is very useful here, and it's rather disrespectful.
What is at stake here?
If you keep this in mind, and remind yourself of it regularly, you can endure a lot of the tactics your teen will use to try to get you to "loosen up."
Let's be blunt. Among other things, what is at stake here is knowing that you have done all you can reasonably do to avoid burying your own child.
Let your child know you are not willing to allow them to drive a car that you own and are responsible for until a contract is signed.
Be willing to say "no" until the agreement is reached. No driving, no license, no car.
Get the learner's permit as soon as possible and pack in as much supervised driving experience as you can.
Hold firm. Hold firm. You can do it. Stay steady. Don't let your teen nag or abuse you into backing off. Don't get lazy or sloppy. Stay focused.